TUMBLR CRUSHES:

• latkestein
• zdou
• santamuffins
• provynce
• callieohpeee
• kingcheddarclausxvii
• janecrocker
• explosivess
• suckmyphalalalalalalalala

I just realized I hadn’t done a Tumblr Crushes list in over HALF A YEAR, so I figured I might as well get it out of the way right now.

If you aren’t following any of these precious human beings, then I suggest you do yourself a favor and start following them. You will not regret this decision. I SWEAR IT.

Tumblr Crushes (aka RAD PEOPLE YOU SHOULD TOTALLY FOLLOW):

• moonlight-aphrodisiac
• pancakestein
• omgtsn
• ambitiousbard
• cancerously
• senile-snake
• octosmagiccastle
• demonoflight
• citrusbell

Y’know what… ? I do these lists from time to time, but this time… I’m in a rather generous mood, so I’d like to try something different… if you folks will allow me.

Out of the nine people listed above, the FIRST one to like this post gets a special video* (to be released some time this week) from yours truly! JUST BECAUSE I LOVE YOU.

Now… let’s see how long it takes for this plan to completely backfire…

*WARNING: Quality not guaranteed. Like, at all.

Tumblr Crushes:

• pancakestein
• moonlight-aphrodisiac
• omgtsn
• prettyflyforaredspy
• ambitiousbard
• demonoflight
• suckmyphallus
• psychedeliccoin
• wecansexy

Look at these guys.

Look at this goddamned smörgåsbord of awesomeness.

All of these people are super-cool and super-talented, and if you AREN’T following any of them, then why do you even log in to this site anyways? ‘Cause I know it isn’t just for the food-porn.

(well… maybe it is)

(whatever. i don’t judge.)

(go ahead and reblog that cookies-and-cream post for the 500th time)

(i won’t sass.)

(promise.)

((also, pancakestein… ?))

T͖͎̂H͇̯̆̊͗ͨͨ̊́̚̚̕Ȧ͚̏̕͢N̼͉̺̥͍͇̐͐ͫ̉̓̊ͅK̗͔̟̲͔̙̭̾͂ͩͮͧͅS̴̨̜͓͖̳͓̖͈ͬ̔͐ͨ͒͊ ̶̷̢͇̺̺̘̭̼̝͇̗̋̏̈ͪͬ́͐̊F̵͎̱͕ͪ̀̿̃͝O̳͔̜̺ͧ̈́ͩ́̀R̶̸͇̥̝͇̞̬̃͂ͧ ̖̖̘̜͆̋̕T̴̶̶̲̽ͣͪͪ͆̐̐̎ͪH̎̑͆̏҉̡̜͔̥̮͙̘̳̱Ẻ̷̻̦̺͇̣̇̎ͦ͒͒ ̟͙̮ͦ̀ͨ̔̄ͬ͠R̻͇̼̟̓ͦͅE̵͋͞͏̮̝̺̩B͌̓ͧ͌҉̢͓̳̣̯͉̝̜͙Ḷ͖̮̺͎̓̈͐ͣ̽͐͞O̧̲͎̻̠̻͕͋͘Ģ͇̙̯̲ͮ̋͗͠.̢̻̳̜͇̗̥̘̓ͪ̓̽

Tumblr Crushes:

• moonlight-aphrodisiac
• pancakestein
• citrusbell
• omgtsn
• ambitiousbard
• prettyflyforaredspy
• suckmyphallus
• b1gb00tyb1tch3s
• m-azing

This is the part where I tell you, my followers, that if you are NOT following any of these super-excellent blogs, then you are not using Tumblr correctly. This, in turn, leads me to believe that you must be 12.9 years of age or younger, and as such, you should GET THE FUCK OUT AND GET AN XBOX OR SOME FUCKIN’ BOOKS.

I MEAN, JESUS.

 Tumblr Crushes (EASTER EDITION):

• pancakestein
• cancerously
• suckmyphallus
• m-azing
• ophiuchustroll
• omgtsn
• ambitiousbard
• prettyflyforaredspy
• jayandsilentbobforever

Damn, look at all these quality-ass blogs right ‘ere.

Pssst… hey, guess what… I love you all. ;D

Anyway, ‘tis the season, so have some fucking Cadbury Creme Eggs.

Tumblr Crushes:

• pancakestein
• suckmyphallus
• prettyflyforaredspy
• m-azing
• demonoflight
• andie-strider
• wecansexy
• omgtsn
• giygaspudding

I just wanna take a moment to say that these are some FINE-ASS premium blogs I’m followin’ right here… and if you’re reading this, and you DON’T follow these super-awesome people, then you just bought a ticket to being permanently uncool forever…

…FRONT ROW, CENTER.

CARROT TOP HEADLINING.

Tumblr Crushes:

• pancakestein
• demonoflight
• ophiuchustroll
• m-azing
• suckmyphallus
• englishchapsnspurs
• fuckyeahomestuckshit
• prettyflyforaredspy
• derperistical

I think it’s pretty telling that none of my Tumblr Crushes are people that I know or talk to in real life…

…Although, I guess, some hardcore blogging enthusiasts would argue that Tumblr IS real life…

I digress. JUST GO FOLLOW THESE AWESOME HUMAN BEINGS. NOW.

SERIOUSLY. NOT KIDDING. GO DO IT. RIGHT NOW.

YOU BUTTMUNCHERS.